I was telling someone my story today (in condensed form) and I ended up talking about how much stronger I am now than I was when I had my son. I’ve been thinking about it all day actually. I don’t think about it much, but there are so many changes that have taken place. I have been fighting an uphill battle for almost 2 years now. I just realized today that I may be reaching the top of the hill. A flat spot at least. I am stronger than I ever thought possible, but I haven’t lost my soft side, either.
I am basically a blob of sappy mush. I feel compassion for people. I get my feelings hurt. I don’t let that make me lay down and quit trying anymore though. If someone knocks you down, what choice do you have but to get your ass back up and try again? Life is not easy. Since I have accepted that fact, things have gotten easier.
It has also helped me to finally be able to say that I am really over my ex. I thought so before he left, but I was wrong. There was so much hurt and pain left from the circumstances of our…well, our whole relationship. I was letting the hurt fester and flair up. Once I let it go, I felt like a weight had been lifted. Yes, he hurt me. I am sure I hurt him back even though he’d never admit it. All we should really be focusing on is that we have to spend the rest of our lives getting along. It won’t stop when our son is 18.
I guess the main point of this post, though, was to let you all know that I finally FEEL like I am strong enough to handle this. I can raise my son! I don’t need help! So, even though it took another friend admitting that they were still in pain, I am pretty happy that I came to this conclusion today.
Time to move on…