Cute, huh? The little play on words? Well, I made myself laugh at least…
So I’ve been cruising down my own road all by myself for a long time now. Given, I just started the blog last fall, but this whole thing started almost 2 years ago. The other day I shared that I really feel like I’m over it. I’ve let go of all of the pain and I feel better. I still do, that hasn’t changed…
It does, however, leave me at this intersection. I could keep going straight and stay on the path I’m on. I could turn one way and actively look for another relationship. I could go the other way and not make a plan. Just go with the flow.
Now, yesterday I made a big deal about going with my gut on decisions. I’m still all for that. The problem is, my instincts are saying yes to all 3 of the directions I could go from here. They’re sort of screaming, “Anywhere but backward!”
I could keep going the way I am; turning down offers for dates and making a conscious effort to remain single and focus on myself. There is still more I could do this way. I still need to start nursing school. I still need a real day job. Or I could make myself bitter all over again, end up a lonely recluse, and be miserable forever.
I could actively pursue something. Make an effort to go out and meet people more often. Spend my time searching high and low for Mr. Right (who is more than likely right in front of my face, I just can’t see him). This plan would make me FEEL like I was moving forward still. This plan would make me THINK I was doing the right thing. This plan is sort of desperate and pathetic.
I could turn the other way and go with the “No Plan” plan. The problem is, my goal right now is to HAVE a plan and teach myself how to stick to the plan of how to get there. So going this route, not pursuing anything, but not shutting people out, is most likely the most sane route. The plan, though, was to have a strict plan for my life. Is there a loop hole here that I’m not seeing?
So, I’m sitting here at this intersection. There’s traffic backing up behind me waiting for me to go. Anybody have a GPS?