So I told you guys that I finally reached a decision about the dating thing, but I never said what it was! Sneaky of me, wasn’t it?
I decided that for now my plan should just be not to have a plan. If someone comes along who happens to fit into my other plans, then that’s great! If not, I’m not really worried about it. My first priority right now is my son. Generally speaking, a guy who doesn’t have kids won’t understand that and someone who does have kids is likely to be too busy to do any serious dating anyway. So for now, my plan is to just stop closing myself off and be receptive to what may or may not happen. According to my mom, this is when I will surely meet someone because I’m not looking. If that’s the case, that’s great. If it’s not, then so be it.
With this though comes a certain amount of nervousness. I’m not as young as I used to be. I’m not as thin as I used to be. I certainly don’t have as much time as I used to. Dating now scares the living daylights out of me! I was never afraid of dating before. Now there is so much more to think about! If things get serious and I introduce him to my son, what happens if we break up? What happens if we DON’T break up? What do I tell guys when they ask if I want more kids? The honest answer there is, “yes, but I want to be married first because this is hard enough with one kid and I don’t trust anyone to stay around now.” That wouldn’t go over very well!
Like I said though, if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be. When I meet the right person I’m counting on not having these fears anymore.
I guess we’ll see!