I’m Failing

I try to keep things upbeat here on my blog. Nobody wants to read about someone who has crappy things going on in their lives. Really though, I’m failing.

I can barely afford my rent. For example, I had a screw up this month, and now I’m pretty sure I’m going to get evicted (my landlord is a jerk) over $200. That’s not really that much money in the grand scheme of things. That $200 right now though is the difference between my son and I having a home. Should $200 fall from the sky, I would be right back on track and even have $25 in July to buy things like toilet paper and laundry detergent and stuff we need that I have learned to stretch farther than I ever thought possible. In all reality, $200 isn’t going to drop from the sky. I have nobody to borrow it from. My ex is $205 behind in child support. Odds that he’ll pay it? Well, he’s been behind since November…so that’ s not going to happen.

So tomorrow I’m going to sell the only real piece of jewelry I own. The only shiny diamonds that anyone ever gave me. Since I won’t get nearly enough for that, I’m also gathering up some of my son’s toys and taking them to a resale shop. Admitting that things are this bad is not easy, but I need to learn to come to terms with the fact that my life is HARD. It’s never going to be easy. While I do great most of the time, this time I fell short. Way short. This time I’m not doing great. I’m sure it will be ok, and I will be stronger for it, but it’s pretty damn hard. I give everything I have, and then suddenly I have to give more. Up until now, I have managed to pull “more” from somewhere. I think I’ve stretched things to the limit, though.

On another note…anyone want to buy a necklace? Haha. It’s a 1/2 ct diamond journey necklace. It’s been worn but is in perfect shape and had regular cleanings and inspections from the jewelers! I’m just kidding, of course (unless someone’s interested…)

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4 thoughts on “I’m Failing

  1. Aww, this breaks my heart! I know what you’re going through. I know how hard it can be on your own. Heck, I still struggle within a marriage. It’s just things that adults deal with. It WILL be okay. You’re NOT failing. Look at Spencer. Look how happy and loved and safe he is. That is not failure. You’re a great mom, don’t ever doubt that!

    Know that I’m here for you! ((HUGS))

    • Haha, you don’t have to be upset FOR me lol. You already heard my whole panic attack on Twitter! 🙂 Thank you for being here, I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know! You’re one of the only (formerly) single moms I know that has an older kid. Seriously nice to know that I CAN survive. Thank you.

  2. Omigosh, YOU ARE NOT FAILING. The fact that you are doing something about your situation means you’re not. You’re doing your best for your son, and you have to remember that, you are a good mom.

    Things will get better, they will turn around. Hang in there.

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