I’ve been thinking a lot lately about friendships; about those people that I am friends with and still talk to out of obligation. I think of high school, and how little the world seemed. There were 100 or so people that I could be friends with. I had to choose out of them. I wonder, though, what my life would have been like if I had met you guys first. My bloggy/Twitter friends.
If I had friends like you guys in high school I would have…
…believed in myself.
…gone for what I wanted without waiting for everyone else to go first.
…had hope for the future.
…gotten out of Ohio while there was still time.
…stayed in college.
…and thought I was worth caring about.
But I would not have…
…met my ex.
…had my son.
…grown the strength that I have so far knowing that I don’t need anyone, even if it’s nice to have someone around.
…made the mistakes that I made that taught me that life is NOT fair no matter how hard you try to make it be.
…ended up who I am today.
Maybe the outcome would have been better. Maybe it would have been worse. You can’t dwell on what ifs, though. You can’t live your life wondering what may have been. Life hands you what you are supposed to have at that moment in time, and clearly I was meant to have things sort of rough before I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. All I know for sure is that I am glad I have you guys in my life now. You let me lean on you when I can’t stand anymore, you listen to me complain and can often relate (in ways that none of my real life friends can relate), and you make me feel like I’m not so strange after all. Like I’m worth being noticed.
I just hope that life has not handed me to you to be a burden. I hope that I can help you all feel worth it, too. You are, you know. You guys are completely awesome!